Southeast Spanish professor and family host two international students

It's dinner time at the DiStefano household and the family is excited to enjoy lamb cupsa, an Arabian meal of fresh lamb paired with rice, cooked by their host student Omar Almotlaq. Baillie, 9, and Anthony, 6, dig in while Almotlaq quizzes the children on Arabic words. Their mother, Debbie DiStefano, smiles as her son, Anthony, recites back how to say brother and sister in Arabic.

Southeast Missouri State University Spanish professor Debbie DiStefano and her family have opened their doors as a host family to 20 to 25 international students since 2007. Currently, the DiStefano household is home for two Saudi Arabian students. Omar Almotlaq began living with the DiStefanos last semester and returned this semester. Reid Alotaibi started living with them this semester after hearing about the family through other international students, DiStefano said.

Debbie DiStefano said her family has hosted students from China, Japan, Saudi Arabia and Costa Rica in order to expose her children to different cultures.

"We got a house and we're close to campus and our children were only around white people, so we said we need our kids to be around somebody that's not white," DiStefano said. "David Price, who used to be in charge of the [Intensive English] program, he lives down the street, so I talked to David about it and that was how we got started. They always needed home stays. It was very difficult in Cape to find somebody that would do home stay."

Southeast's home stay program ended over the summer, but the DiStefanos continued to host students on their own. The home stay program served mainly as an option for Intensive English Program students to be paired to live with a host family for eight weeks.

Last year, the DiStefanos hosted Saad Binsefran, who is also from Saudi Arabia. Binsefran lived with the DiStefanos for the 2013 fall semester and said his brother was the reason he found the family.

"My brother was in contact with the international office, and he kind of figured it out," Binsefran said.

Binsefran admitted that when he moved in with the DiStefanos his English speaking skills were still being developed, but the family really helped him catch on quickly.

"I didn't know how to like communicate with the kids because the kids always talked to me thinking that I understood, but I couldn't," Binsefran said. "Sometimes I would go back to my room and think about it too much until I could speak with them."

Living with two children was no adjustment for Binsefran, who comes from a family of 15 siblings back home. Binsefran said he has five sisters and 10 brothers and he is the sixth oldest.

"So when [husband and wife Chuck and Debbie] are out for work, sometimes I would babysit for them," Binsefran said.

One of his favorite memories of living with the DiStefanos is when they made a trip to the City Museum in St. Louis, he said. Binsefran transferred to Southern Illinois University Carbondale but still stays in contact with the family and visits them about once a month, he said.

Debbie DiStefano said not every student has worked out perfectly because blending students into a host family can be difficult if personalities don't mix well or if there are no common interests. However, with Alotaibi and Almotlaq, that hasn't been the case.

"When I call my mom or dad or any member of my family, they ask about my family -- I mean my second family," Almotlaq said. "They say, 'How is your second dad and second mom?'"

Alotaibi and Almotlaq have become part of the family by spending time not only with Debbie and Chuck DiStefano, but with their two children as well. Apart from teaching them different Arabic words, Alotaibi and Almotlaq also play sports with the children when they get the chance, they said.

"One time I practiced soccer with Omar at SEMO and one time we played soccer with Reid -- one time at the park and outside in the backyard two times," Baillie DiStefano said.

The DiStefanos don't view their home as "a boarding house" but instead want their host students to join in on being a part of the family, Debbie DiStefano said.

While the DiStefanos, Almotlaq and Alotaibi aren't able to see each other much during the day because of work and classes, Debbie DiStefano and Almotlaq explained they always have conversations at night after dinner about anything either of them wants to talk about.

"They've taught me so much," Debbie DiStefano said. "I mean we talk a lot about everything -- their way of life, what they think, how they see the world and we talk about what they see here, what people do and it's not a comparison. It's just a 'Oh, this is it.' I think that's what we learned is not to -- I've always had this idea to not think that everybody thinks the same way, but it's difficult to always put that into practice, and I think that's what I've gotten from these boys is that. To understand that maybe some of our basic fundamental ideas are different, but the idea of just being good people and being kind people, I think that's what we've gotten from it the most."

The DiStefano family is not the only party to benefit from these conversations though. Before living with the DiStefanos, Almotlaq lived in an apartment with an American roommate. He said it was difficult to learn English there compared to living with a family where he can practice every day.

"Before I came here, I couldn't talk English but day-by-day, day-by-day now I can," Almotlaq said. "I can talk in English. It is not really well, but still I can talk. I can understand."

The family has had several fun memories together since Almotlaq and Alotaibi moved in, including cooking contests, going to Grant's Farm, camping, watching "Sleepy Hollow" together and other activities that have brought them closer together, Debbie DiStefano said.

"I just think they're a very wonderful addition to our experience," Debbie DiStefano said. "It's changed the way I see the world in many ways."

Having a second family in the U.S. has helped Almotlaq deal with homesickness, and he said he doesn't think he could find any other family like the DiStefanos.

"I would like to thank them a lot," Almotlaq said. "I don't know how I can thank them, but I will keep it in my heart. I was lucky to live with them."