Students remember Michael Upperman

Michael Upperman was a son, friend and brother who brought an air of upbeat positivity wherever he went. With a genuine personality and always-positive persona, Upperman was a quick friend to many.

Upperman was diagnosed with ocular melanoma during his sophomore year at Southeast, and eventually learned the disease had spread to his liver. The 22-year-old Southeast Missouri State University senior died on April 10 at his home in Springfield, Illinois.

Upperman came to Southeast in 2011, rushed and became a member of the Sigma Chi fraternity. He immediately became involved with the fraternity, gaining a position on the executive board as the chair of alumni relations. He went on to be involved with the Sigma Chi international headquarters and participated in several leadership trips around the country. He also served as a member of the Interfraternity Council judicial board.

Upperman was studying international business and German at Southeast before he had to take time off from classes.

Bryan Mathews, Southeast student and president of Sigma Chi, said Upperman was eager to be involved when given the slightest opportunity.

"He was just super involved with our pledge program, teaching our new guys, and he was really involved in his business fraternity as well," Mathews said. " ... He was just a really diverse guy."

Tommy Crossen, Upperman's best friend and member of Lambda Chi Alpha at Southeast, said he met Upperman in kindergarten while they were both in time out during a recess period. He said the two had to be separated even farther to keep them from talking and laughing.

"I think that kind of encompassed a lot of how our relationship was, just kind of having fun with every moment and enjoying every time we had together and everything, no matter what we were doing and whether we were in time out or not," Crossen said while laughing.

Crossen said coming to college with Upperman was an important time because they were able to go up against all the new experiences college brings with a person they both trusted. He said he was thankful Upperman was able to find a home with the men of Sigma Chi because it gave him a whole new opportunity to make friends and connections at Southeast.

"It never seemed to come between our friendship or anything like that. Whenever we got together it was always -- we were the same friends we always were and nothing had really changed," Crossen said. "Obviously we both knew that we now had experiences that were different and we wouldn't know about each other, which was like the first time in our life that we had something that we wouldn't know about each other or anything. But we never let it come between us or anything like that, and I think we were just happy for the other one to have found a good group to be with."

Mathews said Upperman was a standout character from the beginning of his time as a member of Sigma Chi.

"He was just really different," Mathews said. "One of our main things that we try to instill in our pledges and new members is that we're looking in one of our writings it's Spirit of Sigma Chi, it talks about finding men of different temperaments, talents and convictions, and Michael was like the epitome of that. He was a goofy guy, always was there for you, he wasn't all about going out or trying to do what was cool, he was just his own guy, so he really brought in a lot of guys who I would consider not your typical fraternity guys or Greek Life guys, so he brought a lot of diversity to us."

Crossen said Upperman kept his illness private nearly the entire time he was sick to keep his friends from worrying about his health.

"In general throughout my entire friendship with Michael, he was one of those people that just never wanted to inconvenience anyone, and always wanted people to live the life they wanted to live," Crossen said. "And I think he wanted that for himself too, and he didn't want, you know, so many people anytime they were with him to have that cloud around it. And really that's just not the way you would want to be around Michael anyway, just with the upbeat kind of person he was and being funny and stuff like that.

" . . . He wanted people to be able to live their life -- he didn't want people to change the way their life was going to accommodate what was going on with him. He didn't want people to think 'Oh, I have to go hang out with Michael now.' He just wanted them to hang out with him if they wanted to, and he wanted the people who always cared about him to care about him as much right then. . . . . He wanted to have a really good time with the time he had, he didn't want people to have to worry about it. And I think that was kind of just the selflessness that he had throughout his whole life really, just kind of embodied in that last year or so."

A celebration of life for Upperman was held on April 13 in Springfield, Illinois. He chose to be cremated.

Members of Sigma Chi will present a White Rose Ceremony in honor of Upperman at 8 p.m. on April 27 at "The 13 Trees" area behind the River Campus. Mathews said anyone who is interested is encouraged to participate.