Throwing tradition out the window

Nicole Maxfield sits at an antique dining table. Its age shows through deep scratches scored across its much-used surface. She and her family of four use this table often. Maxfield, a senior psychology major at Southeast Missouri State University, works hard at this table every day. She is not just checking over her children's homework, she is doing her own.

Nontraditional college students have experienced a different variety of life than traditional college students. Nontraditional students include those who have children, are married, have gone into the workforce, joined the military or taken an extended break for any reason between high school and college.

After graduating from Mineral Area Community College in 1997 with an associate degree in fine arts, Maxfield decided she wanted to take a break from school for a few years to travel and make her own living. She became pregnant with her son Cameron a year later. Maxfield worked odd jobs until an opportunity lead her to Keller Dental Lab in St. Louis where she was a dental technician until 2004 when she had her second child, a daughter named Eryka.

Maxfield was in an abusive relationship with her children's father from 1998 until the birth of her daughter, when she moved to Cape Girardeau to be closer to her family. It was only a few months later that she met her husband, Brandon Maxfield. In 2007, she took another shot at college, this time at Southeast.

"I knew as soon as I was pregnant with Cameron that I wanted to go back to school," Maxfield said.

Her plans were postponed by the birth of her daughter.

"I went back a little before she went to kindergarten, but only because Brandon encouraged me," she said. "He promised me he'd help, and he does. He's very helpful."

Maxfield decided to pursue a degree in psychology instead of continuing with a fine arts degree.

She felt that she needed to move in a different direction, one that didn't remind her of her previous abusive relationship.

After starting a family and rebuilding her confidence, going to school wasn't as easy as it used to be for Maxfield.

"I took it for granted back then," she said. "I realize now what a privilege it is to be able to go to school."

Attending classes after nearly a decade without schooling gave Maxfield a new perspective on her classmates.

"It's troublesome sometimes when you hear them complaining about how tired they are," Maxfield said. "'You don't know the meaning of tired' is what I want to say."

She is not only going to college for herself, but also to be able to provide for her family's needs now and in the future as they continue their own educations.

Maxfield's dream job is to be a certified behavioral analyst and eventually get her master's and doctorate degrees. Having been a victim of abuse, she has developed the ability to notice certain subconscious mannerisms that go unnoticed to most people. Human behavior has always fascinated her.

"It kind of fell into place," Maxfield said of her major and career choice. "I feel like it's right."

Being a mother, wife and full-time student with a part-time job serving at Ruby Tuesday, Maxfield takes all the help she can get from her husband, as well as from 5-Hour Energy drinks.

Maxfield reminds herself that all the hard work and sleepless nights are only temporary, and she tends to the jungle of plants in her backyard to relieve stress in the meantime.

While working at Ruby Tuesday, Maxfield befriended another non-traditional student of Southeast. Hannah Parent is a senior history major, mass media minor and newlywed. Although she and Maxfield have grown from completely different circumstances, the two have bonded over their similar stories.

Parent first attended Southeast during the fall 2006 semester, fresh out of high school. She took one semester off when her son Syd was born and returned to school in the fall of 2007.

Going back to school was different with a child. Parent was forced to deal with the loss of her social life after the birth of her son and her re-enrollment in college.

Parent said she felt "a lot more tired. I put aside much of a social life trying to find a balance."

She became more introverted, concentrating on her schoolwork and new family and wondering what people would think of her. Parent was scared that she would be judged for being a single mother.

She eventually found a balance with the help of her mother and father, who encouraged her to be social. She said that if it wasn't for them she never would have met, and then married her husband, Joey Parent.

"Eventually it kind of gave me an edge because I felt like, you know, wow I'm doing something that a lot of people can't do," Parent said. "I'm doing well in school, I'm getting good grades and raising a child, keeping socializing to a minimum, but still having a social life."

Raising and spending time with her son has always been a big part of Parent's life. She is a very involved mother, always ready with countless silly stories and pictures of their lives together.

"I've still managed to keep a good bond with my son -- he wants to go to school, he wants to go to kindergarten, he wants to learn," Parent said.

Parent's passion is history and her dream job is to research and write for historical documentaries. She would like to continue her education after earning her bachelor's degree, but first she hopes to find a job to support her family while her husband has his turn as a Southeast student.

Parent confided that she often deals with stress in her everyday life, such as scheduling conflicts, figuring out who is going to pick up Syd and determining how she and her husband are going to find the money pay for new tires, along with their other bills. To relax, she loves to exercise and ride her bike and said sometimes just having a good cry is necessary.

"When life throws you difficulties, you can either let them get you down, or use it as a bouncing-off point," Parent said.

Parent had to grow up faster than most and realizes that the maturity she's developed is helpful. She credits her success with her schooling, marriage and parenting to her ability to ultimately finding a balance.

It is one of the most important things she's learned throughout her nontraditional education.

"I feel like I'm a better person, more intelligent, more accomplished than I would've been had I been a reckless 19-year-old going to school without a kid," she said. "I think that I may not have done so well, I may not have had an understanding of responsibility, but I do now.

"I guess I also learned that I am not alone," Parent said. "There are a lot of people doing the same thing I'm doing."