The unwritten rules of concert etiquette: lessons from 60+ shows

Having attended over 60 concerts in my lifetime, I’ve witnessed an interesting variety of concertgoers' behaviors.

I have attended a decent number of what are considered “hardcore” shows. At these types of shows, you will most likely see a mosh pit with people dancing, throwing elbows, pushing, running and doing anything else that aligns with this intense genre of music.

Along with the mosh pit, you must keep an eye out for crowd surfers. Crowd surfing occurs when someone either jumps from the stage or is lifted above the crowd, then passed over until they are set down back on their feet or, in less fortunate cases, accidentally dropped.

These shows allow people to let out anger in a positive space; however, I have seen things get out of hand quickly at shows.

Mosh Pit Incidents

In September 2024, a group of friends and I went to see the hardcore band GEL at the Blueberry Hill Duck Room in St.Louis. This venue is essentially a basement with concrete floors.

Once GEL took the stage, the mosh pit opened, and people began flocking to the chaos. Only a few songs into the set, someone in the pit got punched in the face, getting knocked out as well as their head hitting the concrete floor.

After this incident, the show was stopped, and the person had to be carried out of the venue and an ambulance was called.

Though the person ended up being okay, this is still an important example of being aware of your surroundings in a crowd. If you are ever in a situation like this, the best option is to clear the area and help direct staff or authorities to the incident.

Crowd Surfing and Stage Diving

I have seen many crowd surfing fails at concerts, including by my friends. If you are interested in attempting this, my biggest piece of advice is to read the room. Failing to do so could lead to serious injuries to yourself or others.

In 2024, the lead singer of the Australian punk band Trophy Eyes misjudged the crowd situation and proceeded to stage dive. In this instance, the lead singer, standing over six feet tall, attempted to jump into the audience but landed on a woman’s head, giving her a severe spinal cord injury.

Though this is an incident that does not happen often, it further proves the importance of reading the room and making sure your actions will be inconsequential.

Even if you are slightly unsure about the crowd being able to let you surf, it may not be a great idea to do so.

In regards to non-hardcore shows, most people are aware of typical concert etiquette. However, some individuals definitely need to be reminded.

Disrupting Others

In the summer of 2023, I traveled to see The Flaming Lips perform at a free festival in Indiana. At one point during my favorite song of the set, a girl in the group turned around to ask me what the name of the song was because it looked like I would know. This was also not this group’s first offense, during the entire set their backs were facing the stage while they were carrying conversations loudly.

Obviously, everyone is entitled to an enjoyable time at a concert, but if your actions disrupt others' ability, maybe try to refrain.

Cutting

I do not think I could count the number of times people have cut in front of me in a general admission concert. There is one instance that stands out to me, and it is about as frustrating as it gets.

In May 2024, I went to see Kublai Khan TX, at Red Flag in St. Louis. This show was shoulder-to-shoulder in the pit, it was a struggle to even move at all once the headliner was about to take the stage. Not even five minutes before the show started, a tall man and his girlfriend shoved me over to stand in front of my friends and me. The worst part was when the show started they started jumping and stepping on me.

Anyone would find this annoying, and unfortunately, there is not much you can do in this situation unless you want to start arguing with the person. My advice is to NOT be the person who thinks they can get a good spot five minutes before the show starts. The best idea is to get there early to secure a good spot for the rest of the show.

Concerts should be a safe space for everyone to enjoy themselves, however, knowing the unwritten rules of concert etiquette will ensure that you and others can have a positive experience.