Dating Don’ts: First-Date Fails You Can (and Should) Avoid

Hopefully, I’m not alone when I say I spend quite a lot of time hyping myself up for first dates. I change what I’m wearing, mentally prepare questions to ask, change my outfit again, and blast hype music on full volume. If I am especially nervous, I’ll probably change again just for good measure.

First dates can be scary. I don’t know about you, but as much as I am excited to get to know my date, the questions I ask, the answers I give, and the way I present myself are on my mind the entire night. Did I just ask a weird question? Am I nervous-talking? Is my posture looking like a question mark? Probably, but that’s part of the awkward, exciting charm of first dates—it's unpredictable and, honestly, half the fun.

After interrogating friends about first-date horror stories and pulling from my own experience, I’ve compiled a list of first-date DON’TS to ease your first-date jitters. I’m no dating expert, but I hope these will help you navigate your next first date with a little more confidence and fewer moments that leave you wondering how it went.

DON’T smell bad

This is so important. I feel like this one should be common sense, but I fear it's not. I’ve heard too many dating horror stories about a foul-smelling date. Take a shower, spray yourself with something that smells good, and put on deodorant. On the flip side, don't take a bath in perfume or cologne. Avoid sending your date into a coughing fit. A little spritz goes a long way.

Spending the evening with someone you have to hold your breath around probably won’t lead to a second date, so smelling good is a must.

DON’T show up drunk

Pregaming a date is a recipe for disaster. Maybe your friend is handing you a drink, saying it's Friday, and why wouldn't you crack a cold one? “It’ll ease your nerves! Take the edge off!” Several drinks later, it’s time to meet your date. Your date's reaction will probably not be pleasant.

It’s perfectly acceptable to grab a couple of drinks together at the bar but know your limits. No one wants to be in the position of having to take care of a drunk person they are meeting for the first time. Talk about awkward.

DON’T constantly check your phone

We all fall victim to our phone addiction (it's an epidemic). It’s such a habit to check your phone each time it buzzes. Fight the urge. Put your phone down– and bonus points for turning on “Do Not Disturb.” You will have plenty of time to respond to your Snapchats after the date is over.

DON’T do all the talking

I’ll be honest: this one is easy to fall into– especially if my date gets me talking about something I am really excited about. People generally love to talk about themselves. Use this to your advantage to really get to know your date. If you find yourself rambling, balance out the conversation, and let your date talk for a while. If you are a quiet person, don’t be afraid to keep the conversation going by asking more questions.

DON’T talk about your ex

AVOID AT ALL COSTS!

Was that a little dramatic? Maybe, but this is a classic rule for a reason. The last thing anyone ever wants to hear about on a first date is the last person you were with. You don’t need to share why you broke up or why it was or wasn’t great. If there is one sure way to make your date feel awkward, this is it. Don’t make them feel like a comparison.

DON’T give TMI

I don’t think I’m alone in saying I do not need to hear details about your intestinal problems over my dinner. Going really deep into your personal problems on the first date also isn’t a great idea. Being mysterious is cool: leave some things to the imagination (especially anything that your date could find gross or overwhelming).

DON’T expect them to pay

You sit down at the restaurant with your date. They order a pricey drink, an appetizer for you to split (and they almost eat it all), and the most expensive item on the menu. The check comes, and they look at you. What a jerk, you think, because you ordered water and a side salad.

It would be terrible to be in that position, particularly as a broke college student. That’s why it’s a good idea to offer to split the bill or at the very least, offer to pay for your share. If you're not in a position to cover the whole check, suggest picking up the next thing. If your date is paying, be considerate of pricing.

Other important DON’Ts

• DON’T be late
• DON’T choose a remote location
• DON’T be rude to servers
• DON’T fart or burp
• DON’T bring up controversial topics

Are you still feeling nervous about your upcoming date? You can find more tips and tricks to help you succeed on a first date in this article from 2013– some things never change.