Young-adult growing pains

I thought growing pains were supposed to come to a halt after the doctor told me I wouldn’t be getting any taller than 5-foot-3. Unfortunately, the feeling persists, especially when you resist or suppress it. It’s a phantom limb that you detect when your sibling has their first child or when your parents enter into a new age bracket.

When did life decide to become that enormous pothole in the road we keep forgetting to look down at and recognize? Why is it relishing in the fact that we keep tripping, seeing if we want to get back up, cuts and bruises and all?

This perspective is easiest to believe. The more challenging stance to come to terms with is that life wants these feelings to be felt. Resistance and suppression delay growth, while stumbling can lead you to the best group of friends you’ll ever have, the career you’ve been fighting for all this time or slow you down enough to notice all the love and support that surrounds you.

These three songs explore themes of being married to our own misery, feeling underprepared for change, and clinging to our childhood.

“Sisyphus” - Andrew Bird (2019)

Misery can take many forms; Andrew Bird uses the Greek mythological tale of Sisyphus to provide an uncommon way to understand how to let go of it. Through arrogance and trickery, Sisyphus, the king of Corinth, cheated death twice. This angered the gods, and he was sentenced to push a boulder up a hill for eternity in Hades. The moral of the story is how Sisyphus grew and found purpose through his punishment by continuously repeating the task at hand.

However, Bird takes on a completely different perspective. In his folk indie version of the tale of Sisyphus, the rock represents his misery and the lack of control he has over his life. Bird encourages the listener to loosen their comfortable and familiar grip on their sadness and acknowledge that they are able to rise above it. That’s why Bird, through the voice of Sisyphus says, “Let the rock roll.” To put it simply, we have the choice to try our hardest to maintain governance over our lives, or we can regain control by leaning into the lack of it.

Spotify code for "Sisyphus" by Andrew Bird.Gabriella Marsh

“Heavy” - The Backseat Lovers (2021)

The beginning of this song starts slow and progressively becomes more aggressive. This formula mirrors the message of the tune, and describes how there’s only so much change you can accept with open arms before you start shutting down from the shock of it all. The lead singer, Joshua Harmon sings, “Feels a little like it might be the day that I run out of all the right things to say,” capturing the exhaustion of maintaining a positive facade for so long.

By the end, Harmon’s voice sounds like a cry for help, a reflection of losing direction amidst change. Like Harmon, we all show up underprepared to face change. It’s difficult to come up with a positive solution to it. The best we can do is weather the storm surrounded by the people we love most.

Spotify code for "Heavy" by The Backseat Lovers.Gabriella Marsh

“Before the World Was Big” - Girlpool (2015)

The final song is a short, eccentric track that revisits old pieces of our childhood. Initially, the song presents itself as playful and simple, with its repetitive guitar chords and sharp vocals complimenting the minimalism. However, throughout the track it becomes evident that the lead singers, Avery Tucker and Harmony Tividad, are almost playing their adolescent selves.

Tucker and Tividad reference topics from their youth such as realizing how much their mindsets have matured, questioning the last time they’ve spoken to their parents, and even the cracks that still exist in the sidewalks outside their childhood home. Driving home feelings of a fleeting adolescence, they sing, “I just miss how it felt standing next to you, wearing matching dresses before the world was big.”

They repeat that line again and again throughout the song, telling us they can’t find a way to move past grieving their childhood. Many of us struggle with releasing our grasp on the past; while I labor to come to terms with this myself, it’s important to reminisce on how much we dreamed as children, and how we now have the means to achieve those dreams as adults.

Spotify code for "Before the World was Big" by Girlpool.Gabriella Marsh

As you navigate your twenties, let this playlist be your companion in embracing the journey.